Anyway, you rock. I think that pretty much covers it. Looking forward to getting a copy of Blood Brotherhood as soon as I can.

I’m willing to believe at some other time being gay had more of an enforced identity but I’ve honestly never experienced that. Yeah there’s lots of flighty manorexic queens, where exactly is the vast conspiracy that’s forcing you to adopt their mannerisms? I’ve never experienced any kind of criticism for being a masculine gay man. I’ve never been chided for rejecting feminine standards for behavior. And my contact and interaction with the gay political establishment is and has been completely nil.

I’ll admit that it’s hard to find guys that have the same interests for me (particularly ones under 30) but that’s a far cry from some vast cabal forcing me to adopt some social construction. To be honest a lot of the criticism of the “Gay Party” reminded me of Republican hysteria regarding “the liberal media”- a hyperbolic inflation of relevance.

I came out and live in an era of tolerance (particularly where I live, Philadelphia) so I’ve never felt that I had to go to gar bars or involve myself in the gay community in any way. Why would I? I can go to whatever regular bar I like and usually there’s a couple gay guys (at least if the bar is reasonably trendy). I’d rather have a few guys to pick from every night I go out rather then running some kind weird meat-market gauntlet once or twice a week at a gay bar.

Much of the book is devoted to deconstructing the “gay community”. What the hell is the gay community? What’s “The Gay Party”? I know some gay people and occasionally I go to some gay bars. I’ve never felt like I was be inducted into some kind of fraternal (or maybe Mr. Malebranche would argue, sororal) order.

I think that maybe some guys seek out that kind of involvement with the gay community, but I think that has a lot more to do with their individuals issues rather then the community itself. I don’t really think there is some kind of self-aware community.

What I also didn’t understand is how little time (and little depth) the book gave to the masculine gay subcultures. The book more or less dismissed bears as having developed their own enforced behaviors and not representing genuine masculinity, but more just a different gay ideal. I don’t think that’s particularly true. Also where was the in depth discussion of leathermen or skinheads? You quickly dismiss leathermen in “Character not Charicactures” but you barely even discuss other alternative gay groups. If you want a masculine gay culture that upholds an idealized male figure gay skinheads couldn’t be more appropriate. And while you could argue that to some skinhead is just a fetish (reducing the subculture to just another gay form rather then a genuine alternative, in the way you argue leathermen do) to just as many it’s a lifestyle beyond their sexuality.

I agree with much of what is written in Androphilia but I feel a great deal of the basis of the arguments within are based but a vastly distorted analysis. It’s absolutely undeniable that many gay men are brainwashed by Queer Eye and are turned into pathetic faggoty marionettes, but guys like that are fundamentally shitty people anyway. They clearly are incapable of forming their own identity and giving them some other identity to ape (this time masculinity rather then femininity) wouldn’t make them better people. Personally I’d rather keep them at the antiquated and increasingly obsolescent gay bars and out of my punk mosh pits. I think true gay men find their way and if they don’t, they were never true men to begin with.

True men aren’t crushed by social norms and true men don’t obey the customs of those around them just to fit in.

Though for a long time I’d been somewhat uneasy in the mainstream of gay culture, the straw that broke the camel’s back was hearing in San Francisco the self-righteous sisters of perpetual indulgence publicly defame a particularly virulent and well-known, anti-gay televangelist — upon his death! I’d always thought compassionate, homo sapiens, men in particular, adhered to the civilized “de mortuis nihil nisi bonum;” and realizing then that they do not speak for me, but are mere self-interested, self-serving demagogues bent on promoting themselves and the industry that is in effect their reason for being, I quit. The book was a great find in light of all this. Thanks

I am a VERY heavily tattooed, hardened, construction worker, from a ruff blue-collar background and I consider myself to be straight; this is the only life I know. The “gay lifestyle” is foreign to me, a luxury afforded to the upper classes. I have never described myself as gay and there has never been a closet for me to come out of. I dabbled here n there in places that I thought would attract some like-minded men, like bears, but it led to constant confusion, frustration, and misunderstandings. I’d see a lot of men that looked like me, but they did not act or sound like me or any of the men I’ve ever been around. They celebrated masculinity on the one hand and simultaneously discussed fashion and Judy Garland on the other. It just didn’t add up. And when I’d point out the paradox I’d be shunned or accused of “butching it up” with tattoos, playing football, or my choice of a career, another luxury I never had.

I have long since thrown in the towel. After countless personal ads and profiles on Craigslist, it seems that it is too difficult to find a guy that believes as I do: that the whole gay world is a crock of crap. I have accepted the idea that I will probably remain single the rest of my life as many blue-collar men have done. I will continue to identify as straight and probably be one of those guys that end up with a platonic, female companion in need of a dinner/dancing partner. At least at a straight establishment I am made to feel welcome; and the way I choose to define myself as a man will never questioned.

Thank you Jack for the gift of your writing; the ability to form a cohesive message out of what will always be a great big pile of information stuck in my head with no talent for articulation. And I’m glad someone had the balls to face the giant propaganda machine of the gay movement head on!

I extend best wishes to all of you in your life journey and that we all succeed in our search, whatever it might be! Peace!